So today was a really bad day. Jake has been having a bad week as far as his behavior goes, not sure why. So this afternoon Robyn invited me to go the beach club with her and Erin and all of our kids. I thought that this would be fun since Jake loves water and is usually pretty good when he's playing in it. Not the case today.
All he did the whole time was run around to everyone's things throwing whatever he could find to throw. He wouldn't stay near me and kept getting a little too deep. He then had a poopy diaper that is always disgusting to change when it's all wet. Thankfully I caught it quickly and it was contained. This happened despite the Immodium I gave him before we left! He didn't want to get out of the water at the safety break and overall I was just tired of following him around and doing damage control. Thankfully Robyn and Erin were nice to watch Nathan while I was dealing with Jake.
I finally decided we had all had enough so I tried to get them out of the water to leave. This was not a popular decision and I ended up carrying Jake the whole way to the car while Nathan followed. The whole way there Jake was screaming, hitting me and trying anything to get down and run back to the water. As soon as I said bye to Robyn and Erin I just lost it. I cried the whole way home and then for a while after. Thankfully Jon got there shortly after I did and took care of the boys the rest of the night.
I love Jake so much, but sometimes it is so hard to deal with his challenges especially since no one can figure out what is causing them and why he acts the way he does. I just wish I could understand him better. Most days are better than this, but every now and then I just have a breakdown. I feel sad for him that he has to have these challenges and that none of the kids his age ever want to play with him. This is understandable since they are too young to understand that he has special needs, but still sad as a mom to have to watch. I know we are in for a long road and that I need to just take it one day at a time. For some reason that is easier said then done.
Alright, enough venting. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!
Aloha! (Spring Break)
8 years ago
10 comments:
seh-dog, don't cry. you almost made me start to cry. i am sorry today was so rough. the only advice i can give you is hang in there. i have found that most bad days are followed by good ones. i think if that were not the case, life would be pretty darn miserable.
i think now is an appropriate time to share mine and zac's family motto (yes, we have a family motto, get over it)
here it goes:
" inch by inch, life is a cinch,
yard by yard, life is hard."
(except your talking football, says zac)
you really are the best mom. you are so loving and patient with your boys. they are lucky to have such a fun mom who gives them so mucuh attention.
Sarah, I know you didn't write this so people would say "You are such a good mom!" but seriously, YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD MOM! You are always taking the boys to do fun things and you and Jon live for making these boys happy. You guys are always thinking, "What would be fun for the boys to do?" You are brave to take 2 little and very excited boys to the beach club. I was chasing Trent all over trying to keep him from stepping in duck poop. I couldn't imagine chasing two.
I'm so sorry you had a bad day and I'm so sad that you cried the whole way home. Jake is a sweet, lovable little boy. He loves you, Nathan, and Jon so much. He is a protective older brother and friend. I know it must be so frustrating that you can't figure out what he needs at times, but you are doing a great job at taking care of him and showing him all the love a parent can show their child.
I'm glad you vented. I always feel better when I put my feelings into words. At least you held it together until you got to the car unlike someone you know who lost it in your kitchen.....
it is so hard, you are right that most people cannot understand, even though we try too. all i know is that jake is SO lucky to have a mother like you. someone who loves him unconditionally and tries to understand him. you are an inspiration to me, as a fellow mother and as a woman.
Sarah, I'm so sorry to hear you had a bad day. I hope he has a better week next week!
It is actually nice to hear that somebody else has bad days. I have had so many break down moments with Elise I often wonder if I am the only one. Thank you for sharing a personal moment.
Sarah! I was surprised to see on your last post that you didn't list the hardest job you've ever had - MOM! I know Jake was brought into your life because you're the perfect person for the job. He always has the biggest, happiest, greatest smile on his face and it's because his mom put it there. Hang in there, and like you said, take it one day at a time. I wish we were closer so we could help out. I know you have a ton of love and support down there anyway, but I hate to hear that you're upset! I hope the weekend is smooth sailing...
Sarah, I feel a lot of the same ways a lot of the time. It is so hard going into unknown territory with a 'special' child. Kids are hard enough but when they have more needs it just gets overwhelming. I have seen you with Jake though and I know that you are the best momma for him. You are so patient and strong and loving. You handle his challenges very well. I admire you as a mom and I'm so thankful to have you as a friend! Here's hoping tomorrow is one of the good days!
Love ya.
I am sorry you had a bad day. You are the best person for the job of Jake's mom, you are doing all that you can, you love him with all your heart. I hope things get better, if not just buy a case of Diet Coke, it takes the edge off for a few minutes :)
Sarah, I'm so sorry that you were crying on the way home. You are awesome to go to the beach club and let your boys have fun. Your boys are adorable and you are a buff, go-get-em, super talented mom! Soggy poopy swim diaper alone is enough to make a mom cry.
Sarah, you are really such a great mom. I admire your strength and devotion to your boys. (All THREE of them!)
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